


What Goes Around Comes Around

by whiim



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Affairs, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheating, Domestic Violence, F/M, Pre-War, Pre-War AU, non-bostonian sole survivor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiim/pseuds/whiim
Summary: "Gage. What goes around, comes around."The man that Porter Gage works for is not a good one. But then again, neither is he. Will his Boss' wife make him a better man? Or will the two of them be bad together?
Relationships: Female Sole Survivor/Male Sole Survivor, Porter Gage/Female Sole Survivor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. His Wife

“Gage, have you met my wife?”

A cigar was hanging from his mouth and he was driving with only one hand on the wheel, his other was hanging out of the car window. 

Of course I _knew_ who his wife was. The boss’ wife works for Nuka Cola, and despite all of his fancy cars and the empire he’s built, _she’s_ his favourite trophy. A special kinda woman she is; people are either scared of her, want her or want to be her, and besides all that, she’s a cracking coverup for all the dodgy shit he’s into. 

But had I met her? No. Boss tends to keep her away from business. Probably for the best. She’s too soft for this life. Leave her to the cameras and paparazzis and film crews. 

I shake my head and he flicks his cigar out the window, “well you’re gonna today.” 

Nathaniel’s alright as far as bosses go. I’m paid well, he listens to me, trusts me, leaves me in charge. But damn if he ain’t unpredictable. I can’t lie, it makes me a little fucking nervous. I don’t like when I can’t tell what he’s thinking ‘cause from experience… it ends with someone dead. I’m just hoping that someone ain’t gonna be me. 

“How comes?” He glances in my direction, and his face is unreadable, as usual. “Why not?” An expected unreasonable answer. “Well I been workin’ for you for a while now, boss, just seems a bit out of nowhere.” “Well she is my _wife,_ Gage. You were bound to meet her sometime.” Makes sense I guess. Probably as much sense as he’s gonna make so I just agree and go back to being quiet. Less likely to get myself in trouble that way. 

We’re driving from the city, I already knew where the boss lived, but I ain’t never been inside. And I usually pick him up from outside the Red Rocket when I drive. It’s in a small, shitty little residential area called Sanctuary Hills. I know they can afford bigger like, I’m sure their house is nice and all but it’s not exactly what you’d expect from them. I know how much money our little business venture rakes in, and I can imagine his wife is way overpaid for what she actually does. 

He’s a completely different guy around the neighbours. “Hey Ms. Rosa! You and your boy still building that old Corvega? You let me know if you need a hand, alright?” You can tell they obviously don’t know what he’s actually up to. Probably believe that he really is some upper-city boy running his own office company or whatever bullshit story he spins to people. They blatantly ain’t used to seeing people like me in these parts either, maybe it’s the eyepatch but _Ms. Rosa_ seems awful startled by me. 

The house is nice enough, his apartment in the city is more fancy-like. But the house is something out of a magazine honestly. Picture perfect suburbia. Can’t even imagine that wife of his living somewhere like this. She’s the yuppy city type you’d expect to be living in some big house with tiny bathrooms on all the bedrooms, or a penthouse apartment. Not a small, one floor house in a picket fence community. 

I follow the boss into his house and honestly I didn’t know what I was expecting, like I said I knew who his wife was, but it weren’t this. “Vanessa. We’ve got a guest. Come out.” 

Out of the bedroom she trots. All shiny red lipstick and long blonde curls. And I don’t even think I can begin to describe what she was wearing. It was like a long sheer dress thing, with baggy sleeves with fur on and along the trim. I ain’t no spring chicken, okay, and in all my years I’ve learnt no woman _actually_ looks like this. Not in real life anyway. In pictures and movies and shit, yeah. 

“This is Gage. Gage this is my wife, Vanessa.” I hold out my hand to her and she giggles as she shakes it, like she weren’t expecting it. “Porter Gage, nice to meet you ma’am.” I think I was supposed to kiss her hand or something. “It’s a pleasure, Porter,” “It’s just Gage, Vanessa.” She’s watching me closely and it makes me nervous. “Hey, the boss-lady can call me whatever the fuck she wants. She’s in charge after all.”

Her laughter shoots straight through me, and she flounces off to the kitchen. “Cup of tea or coffee, my love?” I open my mouth to respond, mentally kicking myself. “We’ll have beer, Vanessa.” She hums, moving over to the fridge, “I shall have a glass of wine, then.” 

“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” He said that exact thing about his newest car. I don’t know how to respond. If I agree, will he be pissed? Naturally I find her attractive, how could I not? I sit on the couch beside him, “yeah, you’re a lucky man, boss.” He laughs, tells me that he knows, and she comes back with the drinks, holding them out to us. My fingers graze hers a little more than they need to when I take the bottle. The corner of her mouth twitches. She grabs her glass of wine and sits down on the chair next to the holotape player, looking out the window, legs crossed all dainty like. 

She leans over the arm of the chair to put a holotape in the player. Ass up. I reckon she’s gotta be doing it on purpose but Nate doesn’t seem bothered. He just watches. It may be hard to read him, but I can tell when he’s plotting something. 

The music has barely been playing for a minute when, “Vanessa. Dance for us.” She turns her attention from the window. Her eyes linger on mine before looking at her husband, her eyebrows lifted. She laughs gently. “What?” Nate frowns, makes a gesture with his hand and I quickly realise that this isn’t normal. He’s doing this for me. God knows why and I ain’t keen on finding out. “Boss I-,” “nonsense, Gage. She’s good,” “yeah but I ain’t really got an eye for…” He shot me a look that I knew meant shut up. So I did. I ain’t about to get my head smashed in with a table lamp, it is not a pretty way to go. 

She necks the wine in her almost completely full glass (it’s a little impressive), and gets to her feet. She moves gingerly, like she’s hoping he’s gonna change his mind or start laughing and say he was joking. I clearly know him better than she does. Boss never takes anything back. 

Transfixing, I think the word is. I wanna look away cause it feels… _wrong._ But I don’t. She moves her hips like flowing water. It’s a little unsettling but if I’m being honest it does things to me. Her eyes are all sad looking and it’s a strange contrast. I look out at the kitchen window, and Nate suddenly grabs my face, turning my head back to look. “She’s something special, Gage. Not many women are of this caliber. I don’t let other men see her like this, so _enjoy it._ ” 

_I’d like to Boss,_ is what I want to say, _I’d really like to, but I’m a little concerned you’re gonna beat the ever-living-shit out of one of us._ And she is clearly not enjoying it either, and if the lady isn’t enjoying it, I don’t tend to. Guess I’m a gentleman like that, but it ain’t really a word I’d typically use to describe myself. 

Nate finishes his beer, and that’s when he decides she can stop. “Vanessa, grab me a beer please, doll.” Her shoulders drop and she nods, tucking her glass under her arm and taking his bottle. “Would you like another drink, Porter?” I look down at my bottle and I see I didn’t realise I had already finished. Distracted, obviously. But I think in this situation I should avoid getting intoxicated. “You have any Nuka Cola?” She grins brightly, and winks, “you _know_ we do.” 

Of course they do. She _does_ work for them after all. “We’re getting a special tester of a new flavour sometime this week, you should come round and try it with us.” “I’m sure Gage has better things to do than try new Nuka Cola flavours.” 

She looks dejected, and swallows nervously, “well, I’m sure he does, you two must work awful hard at the office, you’re gone a lot,” was she really that naive? “But even so, I’ll save you a bottle Mr Gage.” _Seriously,_ do I _look_ like I work in an office? “We have Nuka Cherry, and Grape and Orange and-,” “ _Vanessa!_ ” 

She has a new glass of wine tucked under her arm, she hands me the open bottle of Nuka Cola and Nate a new bottle of beer. “Would you like a glass?” I shake my head, “nah thanks.” 

I knew the boss liked to drink, but I’m not sure I really realised quite how much. It’s getting late, he offers to drive me home. Vanessa looks over, her eyebrows drawn together, “Nathaniel, love, I don’t think you should drive tonight.” He jerks his head in her direction, “excuse me?” “You’ve had a few drinks, I wouldn’t want either of you to get hurt. I can drive, or Porter can pick you up in the car tomorrow morning and he can drive himself home.” 

He rolls his eyes at her and goes to grab his keys. I’m staying out of it. I can see he shouldn’t be driving, but I know better than to argue with him. 

Vanessa moves to stand in front of the door, both hands behind her back, one holding the keys the other holding it closed. “Vanessa, move.” “Nathaniel please don’t. _Please._ What if you crash? What if you hit someone?” “Vanessa give me the fucking keys and _move._ ” 

He yanks her wrist, squeezing it tight enough that I know it’ll leave a mark. She knows it too. You can see it in the way she looks at it. And him. For a moment I think he’s gonna hit her, then she lets out this little whimpering noise and he curses. Loudly. “Ok. Fine. You drive the fucking car, Vanessa. But if there’s so much as a fucking scratch on it, so help me God…” “Nathaniel I have a license.” 

He’s back to ignoring her. He turns back to me, smiles like nothing has happened and holds his hand out. I shake it. He pulls me in and claps me on the back. “If she’s driving like a fucking idiot don’t hesitate to tell her. There’s a reason why I don’t let her drive.” I scoff, and nod, “woman drivers _are_ the _goddamn_ worst.” He laughs, and when I look at her she’s frowning down at the ground. She’s changed out of her heels. The sneakers don’t exactly match her outfit but they’re better for driving. 

I follow her out, she hops in the driver's seat, pulling her dress in out of the way before shutting the door. I get in the car, and look over at her. She’s gripping the wheel too tight. Those long ass nails of hers are almost digging into her palms. She is already bruising. The thick red angry lines circling her wrist would not look good after a few days. I wonder how she’ll cover it up for work. If things like this happen a lot I do wonder how it’s not constantly in the papers. Although I am pretty sure the boss has influence over a lot of the media outlets. 

I wonder why we ain’t driving yet, and she looks over at me. “ _Seatbelt._ After all, I _am_ a woman driver.” I roll my eyes, but plug the seatbelt in, “Vanessa, I was only sayin’ that for him.” She fixes me with an unreadable expression, before pulling out of the drive, “really?” I nod, “I’d have figured you’d know what he was like by now. I side with you, you woulda got it worse than you’re already gonna.” 

She hums gently, switching the radio and the car heating on. “He hit you?” She freezes up, gripping the steering wheel too tight again, and that tells me all I need to know. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, Gage.” _No,_ my first name sounds better coming from you. “It ain’t. But I like to know who I’m workin’ for.” The laugh she barked out was harsh, “you know _exactly_ who you’re working for. Your line of business should tell you everything you need to know about him.” 

So she _wasn’t_ naive. She just acts like that. Interesting.

The rest of the journey had little conversation. She hummed along with the music and sometimes she sang. Not quite loud enough for me to hear it, which I found more disappointing than I should’ve. 

She pulled up in the driveway of the offices. I lived in the bosses fancy apartment above them. “Thanks for drivin’ me back here.” She turned her face slightly more in my direction, “you’re more than welcome, at least this way your life was at less risk.” I got out the car, and walked round. She smiled up at me through the window. I don’t know why I did it, but some part of me obviously thought it was a good idea. Probably distracted by a pretty face. Fumbling in my pockets, she wound the window down, “are you alright, Porter?” “You got a pen?” I watched as she took one from the glove compartment, and handed it to me. I scrawled my phone number on the back of the old receipt, and pressed it into her palm. 

“In case of emergency or whatever. Boss’ll probably end up givin’ it t’you at some point, anyway. He trusts me, I’m his right hand man y’know. So you can trust me too.” 

She smirks up at me and tucks it into her bra. “Thank you, Gage. I needed a chaperone.” I laughed at that, “you’re welcome, Nessie.” What can I say? Her name’s a damn mouthful. She gives me a puzzled smile, reaches out of the window and squeezes my arm gently. I back away and lift a hand in a wave as she drives off. 

Well _shit,_ think I need to do something with that mental image of her looking up at me in the little lacy number. She’s untouchable, Gage. You’re gonna have to get her out of your system yourself. 


	2. Babysit

We were working when he got the call. And by working I mean he was covered in someone else’s blood and holding onto a baseball bat that had just been used to break some poor fuck’s legs. I was counting the money. He’d paid up in full, but Nate still wanted to teach him a lesson. 

“Vanny, calm the fuck down what are you going on about?”  _ Vanny?  _ Oh. Vanessa. “What do you mean someone tried to get you at work?” I could hear her shrieking on the other end of the phone. Nate rolled his eyes at me. 

His face contorted quite suddenly, he looked  _ pissed  _ and to be honest it kinda scared the shit out of me. “It’s okay Vanny, it’s okay love. I’m coming to get you now.” He hung up the phone. “Gage grab me that clean shirt.” I did so, not really having a fucking clue what was going on. “What should I do about this mess, Boss?” He looked at the guy who’d passed out from the pain, and the other two who hadn’t been quite so lucky, “text Mason to… No hang on, I don’t think that animal can even read…” 

I took my phone out, flicking through the favourite contacts. _Black Mags. Black William._ _Mason. Nessie. Nisha._

She’d called me once. Once in two weeks. I should probably be glad, I can imagine the Boss wouldn’t be too pleased. He  _ had  _ given her my number though. She’d been drunk when she called me,  _ surprise surprise,  _ and had chatted at me pointlessly before crying and hanging up. 

“Mags and William have a clean-up team for when Lizzie’s work gets messy,” “God, Gage you’re a genius, what would I do without you.” I shrug, and send a message to Mags with our location, “probably be a lot less organised, boss.” He laughs, buttoning up his shirt, “right, you’re with me.” “I am?” 

I don’t know why he keeps pulling this shit. I’m trying to stay away from his wife, that woman is poison. I don’t know if it’s some kinda test and I don’t know if she’s in on it but I ain’t about to let her get me into trouble. 

“Of course you are. Nobody I trust more than my right hand man.”  _ Of course.  _

  
  


Nuka World is a shorter drive than you’d expect. And luckily, the warehouse wasn’t too far from it. I always figured the boss picked the places way out here for privacy or whatever, but it makes sense he’d wanna be close to his wife, in case shit like this happens. 

We’re met by the head of security when we get there, who takes us into Nuka Town USA. Vanessa is sitting on the desk in the medical bay, holding an ice pack against her head. She smiles brightly when she sees us. “Vanessa what the hell have you gotten yourself into now?” 

The boss pries the ice pack from her face, she frowns gently. There’s a graze running right through her eyebrow. I only realise what she’s wearing when I notice the space helmet she has her arm resting on. “The authorities were called and the man who made the attack was taken into custody. I have some paperwork to fill in, Mrs French you are allowed to leave work early today.” Those black boots make her legs look even longer, I reckon it’s cause they go way up her thighs. Her thighs which I definitely should not fucking be looking at. That look on her face says she might’ve caught me. 

“Vanny, what are you playing at?” The boss lightly strokes at her brow, and she gingerly wraps her arms around his waist. “He was after  _ you,  _ Nate. He was doing it to me to get at  _ you.  _ I told them it was just some crazed fan but God knows what he’s going to tell the police.” 

She’s meant to be untouchable. That’s the rule. Nobody in our gang would lay a hand on her and everyone else should be too scared of Nate. Every idiot knows you don’t touch the Overboss’ shit. Someone’s fixing to start a war.

“It’s alright Vanny. Nobody’s gonna get you. I’ll make sure of that.” Her eyes met mine over Nate’s shoulder. She’s more unreadable than he is. “What if this happens again? What if you’re working? You can’t stop your, um, business to keep an eye on me.” He pulled back, cupping her cheek. She leant into it, and put the ice pack back against her forehead. “Well, we’ll have to get you a bodyguard then won’t we, I can’t have anyone touching my girl, can I?” She shakes her head. “You’re mine, aren’t you.” It’s not a question. But he wants an answer. “Yes, Nathaniel.” “Good. Now let’s get going.”

She’s sat in the back of the car, staring out of the window. I keep checking on her in the mirror. She’s surprisingly unshaken by the whole thing. I think she’s more annoyed that she has a new scar, but it don’t make a difference, it’s not like it affects her looks. 

“I don’t need babysitting, Nate.” He sighs, looks at her in the mirror, “you seemed awfully paranoid about it earlier, Vanessa.” He wasn’t wrong. I saw her roll her eyes. “Less paranoid. More mildly concerned. I’d rather not lose my job because you piss a lot of people off doing  _ yours. _ Besides, we don’t know who called for the attack, or why. I certainly don’t trust anyone in your line of work.” 

This girl really likes to play with fire. She plucks a compact mirror from her handbag, and studies her reflection. Slender fingers poke at the cut through her eyebrow. “That’s why I’m not going to just  _ trust anyone,  _ Vanny. I’ll pick one of my… coworkers.” 

My first thought is it will be Mags. She’s quiet, smart, fits in with Vanessa’s image of a fancy woman. I know for a fact they get along, I’ve seen photos of them together. The only other person is  _ maybe  _ Nisha. But she’s a little too jumpy, might stab someone just for breathing in the boss’ wife’s direction. 

“I’m not sure I trust your  _ coworkers _ either, Nathaniel,” “Vanessa shut up.” Her eyebrows lace together grumpily, and she winces. She keeps frowning like that and not only will she wrinkle but she’ll bust those stitches open. But, she stays silent, thank God (it’s hard to focus on the road when they’re bickering), and once we’re back at Sanctuary, she invites me in for  _ tea _ . 

It turns out  _ tea  _ means dinner. And in their case, dinner with an excessive amount of alcohol. I’m glad I drove so at least there won’t be a repeat of the first time I came over. 

Nate is trying to decide who can watch Vanessa, and she is messing around in the kitchen. I offered to help out, she just smiled and squeezed my arm how she had before, “you’re a  _ guest, _ ” she’d giggled, “let us take care of you.” 

_ Us  _ was Nate occasionally throwing a question or comment in my direction, and Nessie trying to get me to drink. “William?” “Wouldn’t last five minutes with her, poor fucker can’t hold a conversation.” She gasped and I grinned over at her, “ _ Porter,  _ you wound me.” 

She offered me yet another glass of wine when she served the dinner, “chicken and bacon risotto!” I never knew she could cook, but I definitely can’t imagine the boss cooking. She ain’t bad neither, I didn’t really know what a risotto was but it was good. I told her as much, she beamed at me. Nate seemed uninterested. 

  
  


After eating I asked if she wanted me to do the dishes. She tutted, tapped me with a wooden spoon and repeated “ _ guest! _ ” 

Vanessa was humming and swaying her hips whilst she cleaned, and damn I’m trying my best here God give me a fucking break. “You.” I look up at Nate, raising a brow, “me?” “Yeah, you’re gonna look after my Vanny.” Oh so you’re not gonna give me a break, knew there was a reason I weren’t religious. “I don’t think I’m the man for the job, boss,” “ _ bullshit _ Gage, you’re the man for  _ every  _ job. Besides, William is useless, I don’t trust Mags and Nisha to hold their own in a serious conflict and Mason… Well,” “Mason’s a fucken animal.” 

I sigh, rubbing my temples. I still reckon I’m being set up here, but the boss is looking at me with such a straight expression on his damn face that I realise he’s being fucking  _ serious.  _ He  _ seriously _ wants me to  _ babysit  _ his fucking wife. “Exactly. But  _ you,  _ Gage, I trust you. You’re not an animal. You’re not useless and you’re not a broad. You wouldn’t fuck me over.” 

Vanessa comes with two beers. She puts them down in front of us and starts wiping the table down. “Vanny?” “Yes, Nathaniel?” He lifts his arms for her to clean underneath them without looking at her, “you like Gage don’t you?” She looks at me with a puzzled expression on her face, she obviously hadn’t been listening, “yes? Honey, do you think I don’t like you?” 

I embarrass my dumbass by stumbling over my words making some stupid attempt to explain. Nate rolls his eyes, straightening his papers by tapping them against the table. “Vanessa don’t be stupid. Gage is gonna be the one keeping an… eye on you.” “Haw haw, really funny boss.” 

She looks between the both of us, obviously sharing my thought that it’s a fucking joke. “You’re being serious?” Hang on a minute, does she not trust me? “Don’t you need him?” Ok. Well that’s a fair point. Didn’t think to argue that one. “He can still do tasks for me. But you’re my number one priority, Vanny.”  _ Bullshit.  _ The way her mouth twitches says she agrees. 

He rises to his feet, wraps an arm around her waist and kisses her temple. Her gaze meets mine before she frowns and it drops to the ground. “Then it’s settled. Gage you’ll,” “babysit?” “Babysit.” “ _ Babysit. _ ” 


	3. The Beach by Revere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m thinking of splitting the POV between our Nuka Girl and Gage, let me know if you’d rather I left it at just him or split it <3
> 
> (Or I can do it in third person whatever you guys would prefer!)

I decided to follow Vanessa on her social medias. Now I know what you’re thinking, _ Gage, you don’t use social medias,  _ and you’re right, I sure as shit do not. But, one, I need to know more about this woman if I’m supposed to be looking after her and two, well harmless curiosity I guess. 

Except it’s not so harmless cause some of the shit she posts is… Well I’m surprised her husband lets her get away with it, and not so surprised she has that many followers I’ll leave it at that. 

She has a fan base and she posts like she’s famous which I never thought about but she kinda is. She’s been in movies and television and her face is on half the billboards in Boston. Ok maybe she’s more than just  _ kinda famous.  _

I get a message pop up _nukagirlnessie has_ _followed you back_. I don’t know why, ain’t like I post shit. Nor do I much intend to. And now she’s messaging me: 

_ -Thanksies for the username inspo honey bunny! <3 totally had to change it right away! _

_ ∧＿∧ _

_ （｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。 _

_ ⊂ ノ ・゜+. _

_ しーＪ °。+ *´¨) _

_ .· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) _

_ (¸.·´ (¸.·’*  _

_ -your welcome _

Is that a fucking cat? 

_ -wrong *you’re, honey!  _

Someone who uses the word  _ inspo  _ and sends cats is really gonna comment on my fucking spelling. I decide not to reply. 

She posts a lot, and I can imagine she ain’t gonna be so willing to change that. It makes my job harder cause it means if someone’s looking to find her it ain’t gonna be so hard. I mean, just last night she posted a picture of her and Mags at some fancy club, and even tagged the location. I’m a little surprised Nate let her go out like that. I’m gonna have to stop looking cause she is like honest-to-God poison. 

It is achingly hot. Like wanna-take-off-all-my-clothes-and-jump-into-a-river-even-though-i-hate-getting-wet hot. 

Nobody answers the door when I knock. Boss’d already told me to just let myself in, I had a key. And after seeing the photos she posted last night, I assume she ain’t gonna be moving much. 

And for fuck’s sake, the front door is unlocked. Honestly you’d think the girl was  _ trying _ to get herself killed. “Vanessa?” I shut the door behind myself  _ and _ lock it. The sounds of a shower running come from the other end of the house, so I decide to have a poke around the house. 

Their room is front facing, with windows left open which I didn’t notice before. You’d think after being attacked a woman would be more fucking careful, clearly not. Said room is clearly more Vanessa’s than Nate’s which makes sense cause he don’t sleep here much. There are an excess of pillows and a lot of paintings of places signed by a “Maple.A”. She also has a dress rack with loads of different outfits on and I’m assuming the closet is the same. I spot the leather Nuka Girl outfit from before. 

The room opposite the bedroom was the bathroom, which was shut since she was in it. The only other room besides the laundry room had the door pulled to, not closed. I was expecting a dressing room or more clothes. I sure as shit weren’t expecting a  _ baby’s room.  _

I’d forgotten they’d  _ had  _ a baby. A boy I think. I don’t know what happened, Boss never told me what happened, it was around the time he was working a lot with William Black, about a year ago. Just assumed he was too messed up over it all to be honest. 

The furniture had a layer of dust. It made me feel kinda uncomfortable so I left the room, shutting the door behind me. I hadn’t realised the shower had been turned off. 

“Oh!  _ Porter!  _ I thought you weren’t coming till this afternoon.” She’s standing there, wearing nothing but a towel. A towel that is barely covering her. Her hair is wet and is stuck to her but somehow she still looks like a damn supermodel- and holy  _ shit  _ I should not be looking still. “It is afternoon?” 

Her eyes moved to the clock behind my head, she giggled and squeezed my arm, “oh so it is. Glass of wine?” I follow her back through the house into the kitchen, “Vanessa it’s early afternoon,” “so two glasses then? Each?” I sat down at the counter, “one for you, none for me.” She hummed, “spoilsport.” 

“Couch.” She had what  _ looked  _ like a Nuka Cola bottle in her hand and a glass of wine. I did as I was told and moved to sit on the couch, she hopped besides me, readjusting the towel around her chest. “This is the new flavour I was telling you about,  _ Quantum!  _ It doesn’t come out until October 23rd so you’re one of the first in the  _ world  _ to try it.” The colour was… unique. I ain’t really wanna drink it, but she’s looking at me all hopeful and wide eyed. So I drink the glowing thing. 

It’s some kinda berry? Kinda metallic tasting. Is it burning or am I crazy? 

All in all it ain’t  _ that  _ bad. “S’alright.” She beams at me as if she’s made it herself, and I can’t help but smile with her. “Oh I think it’s  _ divine.  _ The metal-ly kick somewhat reminds me of being punched in the mouth but the berry balances it out.” Who the  _ fuck  _ is punching her in the mouth? Her nervous shuffle tells me it all. 

“So how are you going to protect me, mister Gage?” A fingertip lazily traces the rim of her glass, but her eyes are focused solely on mine. “I ain’t some kinda knight. Ain’t about protectin’, I’m hopin’ I’ll be prepared ‘nuff that it won’t come down t’that.” 

“So you won’t be jumping in front of any bullets for me?” She tutted, “disappointing.” I laughed. Harder than I meant to, “I like you Nessie and I’m loyal to your husband but I still gotta look out for number one. I ain’t jumpin’ in front of a bullet for nobody.” I don’t much like the way she laughed, made me shiver. She gets up, takes a sip from her glass, and puts it in my hand. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Let me sort out my face and hair, oh, and put  _ maybe  _ some more clothes on.” She winks at me and I’m really here hoping she doesn’t wear less clothes. 

  
  


She’s gone longer than a few minutes. She’s  _ thankfully  _ wearing more clothes. A pair of tight black pants that cut off above her shins, and some kind of strappy red top that is… low cut. Judging from the noise, she’s got heels on. She flops on the couch next to me, glass of wine back in hand. I reckon she keeps licking her lips on purpose. It’s weird how she looks more normal with the red lipgloss or whatever that shit is.

“Let’s go out,” “excuse me?” She giggles. Her lips leave a red mark on her glass. “You heard me! Bar, restaurant, stroll through the park, I don’t mind just get me  _ out of the house.” _ I fiddled with the patch on my eye, “ain’t that Nate’s job?” She scoffed and got up, grabbing her phone and tapping away at the screen, “well, he’s not here.  _ Oh!  _ Let’s go to the beach! Down by Revere? It  _ is  _ the perfect weather, I’ll get my hat.” 

I ain’t agreed to it, but even so she comes back with some stupid oversized hat and sunglasses. “Oh come  _ on,  _ Porter. It’ll be fun.” She takes my hands (and  _ damn  _ they’re soft), and pulls me up off the couch, “Nate won’t mind, I don’t even know where he is today, he wasn’t home last night.  _ Working,  _ I presume.” I find myself frowning, not only is she leaving windows open and doors unlocked but he isn’t even staying here overnight?  _ I  _ don’t know where he was. But I ain’t about to tell her that. 

“Come on, bunny.” She looks over her shoulder at me and smiles, so here I am trotting after her like a good little fucking dog. What have you become, Gage? Bending over backwards for a married woman. 

“Won’t you come in with me, Porter?” She’s ankles deep in the sea, her heels clutched in one hand, her other holding her hat on her head. “Fuck no.” She pouts, plucks her sunglasses off her face and comes back over towards me, “spoilsport.” She lifts a leg up, and kicks water at me. “You did  _ not.”  _ A smirk crosses her face, “what are you going to do about it, cowboy?” “I will drag you in there deeper than your ankles, Vanessa,” “oh you can drag me  _ anywhere you want,  _ cowboy.” 

_ Yeah _ , she got me in the water. “ _ Shit,  _ it’s cold,” she bumped her hip against mine with a laugh, “we could cuddle up and share body heat?” “Or we could just get the fuck out of the sea.” She sighed, leaning against me, “your language is  _ awful,  _ and you’re so grumpy all the time, how am I supposed to put up with you?” I shook my head, and knocked her hat off her head. She narrowly caught it, and looked up at me with a very grumpy expression on her face. “If it wasn’t for the fact seawater  _ fucks  _ with my hair, I would tackle you and hold your head under.” 

I don’t doubt that. 

She wraps an arm around my waist, so I awkwardly patted her head. “Thank you for coming out with me today, Gage. I needed to get out but… Coming out on my own kinda scares me. Like I made Mags bring  _ William _ out on our girls night.  _ William fucking Black.  _ Ugh,” she moved her arm and took a few steps away, “sorry, I don’t like feeling weak. Really have myself in the worst position for that, huh? With my…  _ loving husband,”  _ she flinches, turns to look at me quite suddenly, “please.  _ Please  _ don’t tell him. I’ll shut up. I don’t mean it I’m just…”

I sighed, I don’t know how to deal with shit like this. “I ain’t gonna tell him.” I ain’t lying. I know what he’d do to her. I don’t want that shit on my conscience. “I ain’t gonna tell him nothin’ unless you ask me to.” I step towards her, I know from stuff Nate has said (and clearly done), that she don’t react well if she feels threatened. “You try to trust me, I try to trust you, that’s how this works. Ok? I ain’t gonna fuck you over, cause I’m hopin’ you ain’t gonna fuck me over, alright?” 

“I’m not going to fuck you over Gage.” I nod, “good,” she looks up at me, then down at the water, and then back up again, “then we’re all fine then. C’mon, let’s get out of here. Get a beer or somethin’?” She rubs the back of her neck, and puts her hat on, “can we just go home? Like, Sanctuary Hills home?”  _ Thank God.  _ Less likely to get hurt or in shit with the Overboss that way. “‘Course we can, Nessie. Come on.”

She’s dancing again.  _ Proper  _ this time. Yeah, she’s kinda drunk, enough that her head is gonna be hurting bad in the morning. But she looks happy, so I ain’t gonna complain. 

She’s better at it when it’s natural too. 

“Gage?” “Yeah?” She’s got a wild look in her eye. I already know where this is going. “Can you dance?” “No,” “ _ bullshit.”  _ She downs her glass of wine, and grabs my hands, “Vanessa  _ no,  _ seriously.” She pouts and tries drags me off the couch, “I won’t look.” I can’t help but smile as she covers her eyes with one hand, but I ain’t gonna dance. “You dance all you want but it ain’t for me.” 

She peeks through her fingers, “but I  _ am  _ dancing for you,” “no, I meant,” she’s grinning, I roll my eyes. “I know what you meant, Porter. You truly do wound me by not dancing with me.” 

A car pulls up in the drive. She drops my hands and moves over to the radio, turning the volume down.  _ “Shit.”  _ Nate must be home. I look out the window and it’s his car sitting there. She pours herself another glass of wine with shaking hands, and opens a beer, putting it on the counter. “Welcome home, love.” I’m not sure why she’s so panicky. “Vanessa. Gage. How are you both?” 

She stumbles over her words, mumbling that she was alright. “Hey boss, doin’ alright. You holdin’ up alright? Busy day?” He nods, “yeah. Might be heading out of town for a few days,” “what?” Vanessa is frowning, and her hands are still shaking. “What do you mean,  _ what?”  _

She puts her glass down, and grips the counter. Why do they always have to fight when I’m here? “You… You were gone last night  _ too.  _ And after everything that’s happened,  _ recently,  _ I thought you’d, I don’t know, be a little more concerned.” He barked out a laugh and rolled his eyes, “Vanessa my job is more important,” “more important than me? Your wife?” 

“Vanessa shut the fuck up.” I would say the same. Not for the same reason he did. But yeah. The boss walks off, and like an idiot, she follows. 

Voices get louder until I’m pretty sure the neighbours can hear it. “Nathaniel calm down, please, the neighbours will hear.” “You’re the absolute  _ fucking  _ worst.”  _ Harsh.  _ “Nate  _ please,  _ this is embarrassing, Gage is round and the neighbours can hear and-,” “you fucking embarass me, Vanessa. You’ve caused this!” 

I need a cigarette. “Nate you're giving me whiplash with y-!” I can’t listen anymore. I light up a cigarette and stand outside the front door. I ain’t getting in his way when he’s like this, I ain’t winding up dead. Nate comes past with a bag. “Sorry for her making a fucking scene, Gage. You want me to run you back?” I flick the ash from my cigarette onto the ground. Man I’m starting to hate this guy. “Nah, I got my car, don’t wanna leave it here, she might key it or some shit.” He laughs and claps my shoulder, and gets in his car. 

“Hang on boss, you’re actually goin’ outta town?” He turns to me, “yeah. William and I are running a job up DC way. And I can’t put up with her at the moment she’s a train wreck.” I nod, watching my cigarette burn down, “you want me to keep an eye on her?” “If you can put up with her annoying ass. Honestly Gage, if she got taken out it’d be doing me a fucking favour.”  _ Jesus.  _ He’s giving  _ me  _ whiplash over here. “Alright, boss. You let me know if you need me, you got my number.” “Will do.” He pulled out of the driveway, and drove off. I went back into the house. 

“Vanessa?” 

She tensed up, and shut the fridge door, bottle of cola clutched in hand. “ _ Gage.  _ I thought you’d gone.” Her voice was shaky. Crying. Well shit. I can’t be surprised but what the fuck am  _ I  _ supposed to do. “Y’alright?” “Of course.”  _ Bullshit.  _ “Ain’t you meant to be an actress?” She flinched when I put a hand on her shoulder. “Look at me.  _ Vanessa.”  _ She turned her head in my direction. “Vanessa…”

She tried to walk past, and without thinking I grabbed her arm. Not hard. But I heard her breath hitch and she dropped the cola bottle on the floor. And then the flood gates broke. 

“I’m sorry… Shit I’m so sorry.” She pulled her arm from my grasp and swiftly grabbed a cloth, trying to clean it up. “Vanessa stop it. You’re fine. Was my fault, calm it.” I pulled the cloth from her hands. They were shaking bad and she pressed them to her face. “Let me see it. Come on, darlin’.” 

She moved her hands but wouldn’t look me in the eye. Her lip was split. He must’ve hit her pretty damn hard. “Let’s get you cleaned up, huh?” I took her hands in mine, and against my better judgement, lifted her up by her thighs. She squealed and grabbed by shoulders hard, digging her nails in. I put her down on the counter and she looked at me with a grumpy look on her face. 

I grabbed a cloth off the counter, “no. Second drawer down. That one is for the dishes.” Second drawer down… ah, there we go. I ran it under the tap, and turned back towards her. “Might sting,” she winced as I pressed it against her lip, “told ya.” 

She’s looking up at me and smiling. My eye flicks from her lip to her eyes and then back again. “You’re starin’.” “You’re pleasing to stare at.” I roll my eye and laugh probably too coldly. “You’re pale,” “not the response I was expecting but alright.” I shake my head, “let me finish. You’re pale, so it’s gonna bruise.  _ Bad.”  _ Vanessa nodded, and ran her tongue along her bottom lip, “Will I still be pretty?” “Of course.” 

_ Shit.  _ She squealed, wincing as she smiled, “so you think I’m pretty?” “Pretty annoyin’.” “Well isn’t that a fine how-do-you-do.” I don’t understand half of what she says, but she’s pretending to be offended. “I’m sorry for not doing shit.” She shrugs and squeezes my arm, which is like our thing now or some shit. 

_ Our thing.  _

I sound like a fucking schoolboy. 

“Don’t you worry about it, he’s… You know. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” I nod, and put the cloth down, before sweeping the pad of my thumb along her lip. She shivers. “I can handle it.” “Are you saying I can’t?” I shake my head, tilting her chin up to get a better look, squinting in the light, “naw. I know you’re tougher than you look. I’ll toughen you up more, don’t you worry.” She grinned and it clearly hurt as she winced again,  _ “kinky”,  _ “shut up.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m kinda taking liberty with the pre-war world and taking a lot of inspiration from like, real life so I apologise if it’s not completely right or how you imagine it <3


	4. Beers and Bruises

There is a man asleep on my couch. 

Oh, I knew he was there of course, but still, there’s a man asleep on my couch. 

I’ve not had a man sleep on my couch since college, when Nate and I fight it’s me who ends up sleeping on the couch. 

The issue isn’t that he’s there, the issue is I have a guest coming round in approximately ten minutes and I don’t want to wake him. For such a grumpy man he looks so at peace when he sleeps and I just can’t bring myself to wake him. 

I head back to my bedroom to finish getting dressed, just in time for my guest to arrive. And for me to not hear. 

“Charms there’s a man in your house!” “Who in the fuck are you? Who in the fuck is  _ Charms? _ ” Oh  _ good.  _ What a good start to the day. I yank my top on over my head, dread to think of what it’s done to my hair and head into the living room. 

Gage is standing in front of the door, pretty much blocking it entirely. Deacon is on his tiptoes trying to see inside the house. “Deacon this is Gage, Gage this is Deacon. Dee used to do my hair and makeup and Gage is… head of security?” Gage looks him up and down, but let’s him inside. Deacon is a hugger, and it’s nice, actually. I don’t remember the last time I properly hugged someone. “What the fuck happened to your face?” I shrug, “tripped, you know me. Just tell me what I can do to fix it.” 

Gage looks very unhappy to have been woken up. “This guy does your hair and shit? He’s got a wig on.” I can’t help but laugh. “Charms where do you find them? The people you surround yourself with are brutes,” “then what does that make  _ you,  _ Dee?” “Your number one fan!” 

He steers me to sit down at the counter, “is it that bad?” Gage and Deacon both looked at me, then exchanged a glance. Deacon chose to respond first with, “have you looked in a mirror today?” “No,” Gage frowned and moved his way over to the fridge, “good. Don’t.” 

I gasp and press my fingers to the corner of my mouth. It’s sore. Deacon groans and rolls his eyes, “gangbangers. Charms ignore him. I’ve seen you in worse states,” “ _ wow,  _ thanks Dee, that makes me feel  _ so _ much better.” 

I hear the kettle be put on to boil behind me. “Oh Gage, hang on honey, I’ll do that,” “No,” “alright.” Deacon looked at me and grinned, “ _ polite,  _ I like him already,” “Deacon hush- Ow!” Deacon retracted his hands from my face, and Gage had obviously shot him a look. He held up both hands, “hey, calm down big guy. I’m not hurting her.” “You just did.” I groaned, loudly, “shut up the pair of you. Deacon, my makeup is in the gold bag on top of my dresser. Scoot.” Gage stood in front of me, holding out a cup of tea. I did  _ not  _ trust an American to make a good cup of tea, even less so Gage. “Thank you-,” “how are y’feelin’?” 

You can’t help but smile, he’s a secret softie I’m telling you. “I’m alright. A little sore but-...” Oh my  _ God  _ he’s touching my face. Why is he touching my face? 

He hooks his fingers beneath my chin and tilts my face up. And now he’s far too close to me. So close I can feel his _breath._ God what the fuck is wrong with me. “I told you it weren’t gonna look great. I didn’t mean t’upset you, though.” I shake my head, and why the _hell_ does he think he’s allowed to run his thumb along my lip like that. “You didn’t.” He nodded, turning my face to the side, before finally (thank _God_ ) letting go. “Why does he call you _charms?_ ” 

Deacon came back in that moment, with my makeup bag under his arm, and an ice pack he must’ve grabbed from the freezer in the utility room. “Because she’s a lucky charm.” I shake my head, “nonsense. I was, mm,  _ failing  _ my class in college, and I managed to talk the staff out of telling my parents. Our professor called me  _ charmer _ and it stuck,” Deacon squealed, “she’s also a lucky charm. Rub her nose for good luck,” “nobody thinks that.” “Nobody rubs your nose but me.” 

I shook my head and took the ice pack from Deacon, holding it to the bruising around my mouth. “Look, I’ve been punched in the face plenty of times,” “now why in the fuck don’t that surprise me-,” “ _ Gage! _ ” I moved the ice pack to sip the tea. It wasn’t that bad. “As I was saying, I’ve been punched before and I think this one might be a case of just letting it go down. It’s very…” He made a wild hand gesture, “colourful.” 

I decided to be brave. I fumbled on the counter for my handbag, taking out my compact mirror. “This gonna be good…” Deacon glared at Gage who was trying not to smile too much. Am I really that vain- “oh my  _ fucking _ God! I can never leave the house again.”  _ Yes. Yes I am that vain.  _

Gage stops snickering, and rubs the back of his neck. Deacon is searching for the right words, “cage fighter chic?” “I’ve seen worse. Honestly, y’ain’t look that bad.” I am horrified. I can barely describe the colour besides… blurple. My bottom lip was swollen, and there was a split through it. Charming. Seems I’m collecting facial scars. “I do not look good,” “bullshit.” I cooed and looked up at Gage, “aren’t you a sweetie?” He rolled his eyes and stalked off to sit on the couch. “Dee, please see if you can cover it?” “Yeah, I’ll give it a go, but I’m not promising anything.”

It did not go well. Turns out, covering bruising is easy, but covering a swollen, busted lip is not. I have now taken it off, and I’m having a glass of wine. Because why would I not be? 

After Deacon left, Gage tried to talk to me about everything that happened last night. He was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable. So now I’m drinking. And Mags is coming round because she was us to go out.  _ Us  _ now includes Gage, since William is in DC. He is about as happy about the situation as you’d expect. 

Since I am too chicken shit to stay here alone, partially because of the recent attack and partially because Nate might drive his car through the bedroom wall, Gage said he’d sleep on the couch until he comes back. So we’re stopping at his apartment to get his things before heading to the Operator Lounge. We’re leaving the car there too since it’s only a short walk. 

“Nessie? Can I ask you somethin’?”  _ Oh dear.  _ I neck the rest of my wine and turn around. He’s standing in the doorway, he looks startled. It’s probably because there are clothes everywhere. I’m trying to pick an outfit, shoot me. “You just did,” “oh  _ God  _ maybe I should just shoot you instead… Seriously though, if you don’t wanna answer you don’t gotta but I wanted t’ask about the other room. And your uh… Your kid?” 

_ Shaun.  _

I sigh, and pour myself another glass of wine (I was smart and took the bottle to the bedroom with me), and sit down on the bed. “His name was Shaun. He was a  _ beautiful  _ baby. He had Nate’s eyes and olive skin but… Well, he had the most wild mess of blonde hair that he  _ must have  _ gotten from me.” I laugh, and Gage sits down besides me. 

“I think…” I rub my face with a hand, “oh  _ Christ,  _ this is going to sound awful. I think Nate was  _ jealous.  _ Of Shaun. Which was  _ baffling  _ because, oh this is going to sound worse… I didn’t want to have a baby,” I think I’m going to cry. How embarrassing. “You were only 23. I ain’t surprised you didn’t want a kid.” I nod, and splay my fingers out against my belly, sweeping my hands over the non-existent bump. 

“But yes, Nate seemed jealous. He’d always get funny when I’d be fussing over Shaun but like, he  _ made me have the baby!”  _ I raked my fingers through my hair. “Look, Nate is a fair bit older, so I understand he wants to have an…  _ heir _ , I get that. And maybe it wasn’t what he expected, maybe he got postnatal I don’t know. He stopped working with you so much and more with William. The two of them went away and…  _ Shit.  _ I don’t know what happened… I woke up and he was  _ gone,  _ okay? Nate blames me. I… He says I was drunk? I…” 

I press my hand over my face. Gage clears his throat. “He went out of town with William?” I nod, and rub my eyes before getting up, sipping the wine. “Yeah,” “when does Mags get here?” I frown over at him, “I don’t know, soon?” I glance at the clock, “ _ shit,  _ ten minutes I need to get ready. Thank you for reminding me, shoo.” “Naw, Vanessa, wait…” I pushed him out the room.

_ Fuck it.  _ I never get to wear this dress. It’s a figure hugging, strappy, sequined red number. Hopefully not on the gaudy side, and it’s somewhat tasteful,  _ despite _ the slit up the leg. A sweep of red lipstick and a bit of powder over the worst of the bruising and I looked presentable enough.  _ Cage fighter chic  _ as Deacon had so eloquently put it. 

Gage was smoking a cigarette in the living room, leaning against the kitchen counter, whatever was outside the window was obviously very interesting, as he was  _ very  _ focused. I clear my throat, tucking one of my curls behind my ear. “Nessie! You look…” Knock-knock-knock at the door. Mags. “ _ Nice _ .” 

I opened the door and squealed, hugging Mags. She squinted at me, “Vanessa! Really? I seriously think you need to stop taking your fencing classes, you keep getting your pretty face all smashed up and it is  _ not  _ good for our image. Can I use the bathroom to freshen up?” She walks past. “Uh, yes ma’am. Good to see you too.” Gage is frowning at me, “Fencin’ classes?” “It’s not a complete lie, I do take them, it’s just a coincidental excuse for something else.” 

He seems surprised. Most people are surprised when they find out I know how to use a sword. I don’t know why. 

“Oh Gage, you’re here.” “Mags.” “Vanessa, why didn’t you tell me?” She glares at Gage as if somehow it’s _his_ _fault?_ I don’t know what is his fault but something is. “Mags, why do you not like Gage?” “Ugh, him and Nate are complete animals, Vanessa. Don’t care for either of them. At least Mason _knows_ what he is,” she frowns in his direction, “is he going to tell him I said that? Is he around to spy on me for your husband? Is he here to spy on _you_?” 

_ I hope not.  _ “No he’s here to, y’know, keep me alive. Cause of the attack… And all…” She hummed, “alright. He’s getting changed though, right?” I nod, and I’m pretty sure I can feel his scowl on the back of my head, “he’s driving us to the apartment, then he’ll get changed and we’ll walk if that’s alright? Gage won’t be drinking so we can take you back later or… Whatever.” 

Mags claps her hands together and says that we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I would’ve preferred to plan it now (and I’m sure Gage will agree), because I know how she gets when she’s had too much to drink. Then again, I get the same way. But oh well, no time to dwell on it now. 

It is  _ loud.  _ And my head is  _ spinning!  _ I don’t know how much I’ve had to drink, but I’ve already learnt not to put my drink down, because Mags puts another one in my hand no matter how much Gage protests. 

_ Gage.  _

“You scrub up well, cowboy.” He’s sitting in the booth with me, has his arm along the back of the chair and  _ holy Christ  _ he has good arms. He  _ does  _ scrub up well, too. Black pants and a shirt.  _ With sleeves.  _ They’re rolled up, but  _ still,  _ my cowboy gangbanger has sleeves on. I’m so proud. “Yeah?” I slide closer, and wave a hand out to rest on his chest and  _ oh!  _ I miss. “I told Mags you’d had enough about an hour ago.  _ Vanessa.  _ Hands where I can see ‘em.” 

I hold my hands up and he rewards me with a lopsided grin that makes my tummy feel like I swallowed a family of caterpillars. And now they’re not caterpillars. They’re birdapillars. “Gage, what’s the name for a big caterpillar?” “I don’t know, a snake?” That makes me giggle. “ _ No!  _ The ones with wings!” He scrunches his nose and he looks like a funny bunny rabbit, “a butterfly?” “ _ That’s  _ the one!” My tummy feels like I swallowed a family of butterflies. 

Mags is here with a tray of shots. They’re pink and look like milkshakes. “Gage is doing one too. He’ll still be able to drive.” Her hair doesn’t look so polished, and  _ that  _ is how I know she’s had too much to drink. That and the fact she’s slurring her words and almost dropped the tray trying to put it down. 

It is sweet for a shot, but has a satisfying burn as it goes down.  _ Nice.  _ Mags has made a friend. Gage knows him, so I’m not worried. I want Gage to be  _ my  _ friend. I look at him and realise oh my  _ God  _ he’s looking at me. Why is he looking at me? Is there something in my hair? I pat my head to check, “there’s nothin’ in your hair.” “Then why are you looking at me?” “It’s my job.”  _ Excellent point.  _

I flop against his side and he tenses. Which makes me sad, but then his arm is around my shoulders.  _ Oh!  _ Mags is back with  _ more  _ shots!

*

“She’s going to be sick, Gage.”

I shake my head, “she better fuckin’ not.” 

“I’m not going…  _ Going… _ To be-!” She presses a hand over her mouth and I roll my eyes. Mags is acting like this is  _ my  _ fault. But she is the one who kept giving her that pink shit. 

“Look,” Mags is wobbling on her heels but I couldn’t care less, she takes a phone out of her purse, “I’ll call a cab, just keep her at yours it’s literally up the stairs anyway. Surely it’s easier than getting her in the car  _ and  _ driving her all the way back to Sanctuary Hills.” I look down at Vanessa, who is shivering, either cause she’s gonna puke or because she’s freezing. Given the possible situation with Nate and William, might be a good idea to keep her out of Sanctuary. Especially when she’s in this state. 

“You sure you’re gonna be alright?” I may not be a fan of Mags, but out of all the  _ coworkers,  _ she’s alright. I don’t want her  _ dead  _ or nothing. “I’ve got a car on the way. Just… Keep an eye on her.” Mags cares about her. So there’s something we can agree on. “Only got one anyway.” I think I just got my first ever smile from Mags Black. A car pulls up, and Vanessa tries to hug the other woman. She gives in, holding her at arm's length, before pushing her back to me. “Stay safe you two.” She wiggles her fingers. Vanessa mimics with a giggle. Two hands on her shoulders and I’m steering her into the building, straight towards the lift. I don’t know what’s been left in here but she ain’t gotta see it. 

She’s babbling about something from across the room whilst sitting on the couch. I make out the word  _ cowboy  _ and something about the apartment being too nice for me. I’ve ain’t got much food in the house, but anything she eats might come back up, so I take her over a glass of water.

“Vodka?” I nod and she stumbles out a thanks. It’s not vodka. Obviously. But she’s too drunk to even notice. Next is a change of clothes. I ain’t a girl, but I’m sure she can make do with a shirt. Should be long enough to cover her up. Smells clean. That’ll do. 

I drop it in her lap and she gives me a confused expression. “To wear?” “Yeah.” “I’m going to be sick.” “Okay.” I take the shirt from her, sling it over my shoulder and help her up, taking her to the bathroom. 

She whines and drops to her knees, gripping the sides of the toilet. I sigh and bend over, pulling her hair out of her face. “Nothin’ comin’ up?.” She shivers as I scrape her hair from her face. “Mmm… Keep doing-!” She whines and cuts herself off. She complains about it not being sexy pointlessly gagging over a toilet. I almost say  _ at least you didn’t puke,  _ but I don’t. 

“Help.” Vanessa’s trying to unzip her dress, which I know she can do ‘cause she put it on herself. “ _ Help… _ ” I unzip it for her, and she grins, letting it drop to the floor.  _ Fuck me.  _ Why does she do this shit? “Shirt. Put it on.” Her hands go to her back, and she takes her bra off.  _ Fucking shit.  _ She turns to face me. “ _ Vanessa.  _ Shirt  _ on. _ ” “Do you really want that?” Not really. But she’s drunk. “That’s what I thought…” She’s drunk  _ and  _ married. Married to my  _ boss.  _ Her fingers pluck at the buttons on my shirt and one by one she pops them open. 

She slides her hands along my chest and lets out a happy sigh. I have to stop her, even though it pisses me off to do so. “Oh  _ come on,  _ Porter. I’m not  _ that  _ bad, am I?”  _ Nah.  _ You’re pretty good actually, and if you weren’t so drunk, or I was more drunk I’d give it to you. Her tongue runs along her bottom lip and I  _ almost  _ give in. 

She’s _ married,  _ Gage. 

“Shirt on.” I pull it over her head, and when I see her face again she’s pouting very grumpily. “You don’t want it, Nessie. Not from me. Now come on.” She protests that she does, but she don’t. I put the glass of water back in her hand and she sips at it. “Good girl. C’mon. Y’need sleep.” She protests that she don’t, but she does. 

If I was planning on bringing a girl back my room wouldn’t be such a mess. If I was planning on bringing a girl back it wouldn’t be her. I help her up onto the bed, she wiggles under the blanket. “You need me, I’ll be out there-.” “Stay.” “Vanessa I already told you don’t want-,” “ _ please. _ ” Her face scrunches up. She just don’t wanna be alone. 

I switch off the light and shrug the rest of my shirt off. I hear her breath hitch, but she don’t push it any further. I lay on the bed above the covers and she lays back down, looking up at me. “G’night, Nessie.” “Nini, Porter.” 


	5. The Morning After

I catch my reflection in the mirror on the wall. Red lipstick is smeared along my collar and throat. I know shit ain’t happened so I ain’t worried, but she might be. I sniff the milk. Pretty sure it ain’t off, and pour it into the cup. The cup I’m pretty sure is clean. 

She looks weirdly peaceful. “Sleep too fuckin’ well you do.” I sit down on the bed and she stirs, rubbing her eyes. Her hair is sticking out wildly and it takes her a moment to realise where she is as she squints at the room. And then me. “Gage?” “Eyup.” “Hi.” “Hey.” Her voice is soft and slow with sleep. She rubs her head with a hand and glances at the cup in my hands. “Tea?” “Figured you need one.” She cooes my name and takes it, sipping it and then smiling weakly. “You’re an  _ angel. _ ”

Her gaze drifts to the lipstick over the coffee mug. “We didn’t, y’know. I dunno how it got there. Probably cause y’don’t know personal space when y’sleep.” Her shoulders drop but she smiles, putting the mug on the bedside table. “ _Really?_ Hmm… Am I not good enough for you, Porter?” I open my mouth to say something but she falls about in laughter, “ _your_ _face._ Seriously though, thank you for looking after me. I hope I wasn’t _too_ much trouble.” 

“Naw. You were alright. Wouldn’t let me sleep on the couch but…” “Hah! No man should have to sleep on the couch in his own house.” She reaches out and pokes my nose, picking her coffee mug back up. She seems completely fine with the fact she’s in a house she’s never been too  _ and  _ she’s shared a bed with another man. 

I’m more fine with it than I should be though, I guess.

“ _ God,  _ I’m hungover.” It doesn’t surprise me. My phone buzzes. And again. “Wow Mr Popular. Got more women to take to bed?” I roll my eyes at her and grab it off the dresser. It’s from Nate. 

_ -Mason needs a shipment of psycho, didn’t ask why. Still busy in DC. He’s sending the address along. Sorry in advance if it’s unintelligible.  _

The second message was the address. I sigh and walk off to the living room. I didn’t realise she’d followed until I heard her kick one of her heels over. “Are you ditching me for your other woman?” “Nessie if there  _ was  _ an  _ other woman,  _ it’d be  _ you _ .” She’s frowning when I glance back at her, and gives me a guilty look. “There ain’t no women in my life, Nessie. Don’t have time for it.” She seems more unhappy about that. “I’m sorry.” 

I jerk my head back in her direction, “what _?”  _ She swings on her feet, “for taking up so much of your time. I like… Don’t even  _ pay you.  _ I can pay you if you want! Or I could, just get an actual security team.” I take a step towards her. Hell, I ain’t mean to upset her. It ain’t what I meant either. I didn’t have time for it before neither, in fact spending time with a woman who isn’t Mags or Nisha is nice. She’s nice. It’s…  _ nice.  _ “Shut up. You’re alright, alright? And I got enough money, never hurts to have more but I ain’t gonna charge you for this.” 

Her gaze moves from the ground to my face, she squeezes my arm for a moment. “Are you ever going to take the eyepatch off?” I bat her hand off my arm and roll my eye, pulling a vest on. “Seriously though,” she’s now looking through the cupboards, “I would be content being the  _ other woman _ if it meant I could spend time with you,” she winks at me over her shoulder. 

“I’ve gotta do a delivery to Mason,” “he’s the big one with the moustache?” I nod, “I’ll be back later,” “can you get some food on your way back? I’m super hungry, and you know, very hungover. And your cupboards are distressingly empty. Really Gage, does one need this much instant ramen?” “I like noodle cups.” “You’re a simple man, Gage. I respect that.” 

I don’t know how to take that. I go to find some pants. When I come back she’s sat on the kitchen counter, holding a bottle of Nuka Cola against her forehead. I don’t know how long it’s been in the fridge but she sure as shit ain’t drinking it so I don’t need to worry. She tosses me my car keys. It’s a shit throw, I have to almost dive to catch it. “Stay here, ok? I’ll be back soon, what food do you want?” She squints, “surprise me,” and hops off the counter, moving to flop on the couch. Graceful. “See you soon, honey bunny.” 

  
  


“Gage.” “Mason.” Vanessa would say he looks like a gorilla. “Where’s the boss?” “Out with William. DC. Don’t know when he’s back.” Mason grunts, folding his arms over his chest. “William’s a pussy. You got my shit?” I agree. William is kinda a pussy. I nod and open the trunk of the car, Mason peers over my shoulder.  _ Damn  _ he’s a  _ big _ fucker. He snaps his fingers (and I realise he’s wearing  _ fucking sandals _ ), and one of his guys comes over, wearing a stupid furry pink hat. Another one follows, a girl, and she’s wearing a bra made of… a stuffed animal? 

They open the top crate. Mason seems happy. They take the crates off. “Nice one Gage. Cheers for the help.” I shrug. My phone buzzes. “Busy day huh? See you around.” He punches me on the arm, I think harder than he meant to, and skulks off after the two that took the crate. His house smells like animal. It’s awful. I’m glad he don’t expect me to stay.

The message is from Nate.

_ -Where’s Vanessa?  _

Well, shit. 

_ -Ain’t heard from her today she ain’t answering phone? Can find her if u want?  _

_ -Apparently she’s not home. I’m taking care of it. She’s been really fucking me off recently. Got someone to teach her a lesson. _

Well,  _ shit.  _

_ -Sure u don’t want me 2 find her Can always rough her up a little if u want ?  _

_ -Haha, nah man. Don’t worry about it. She could be staying with one of her asshole friends. Or Mags. I’ll work something out when I’m back, worst case scenario. Let me know if you hear anything interesting from her, though. And if she gets in, I don’t know, a little trouble, don’t worry about it.  _

_ -Will do boss have a nice trip  _

He doesn’t reply. Teach her a lesson? The fuck is that supposed to mean? This just got more complicated. 

I am being paid, by Nate, to keep Vanessa from getting y’know, roughed up. But now Nate has, I don’t know I think he’s hired someone to do that. I don’t really feel comfortable letting her get beat up, especially for no fucking reason. It ain’t like she deserves it. 

I sit in the car and decide to call her. 

“Hello cutiepie, how can I help you today?”

“Vanessa you’re at the apartment, right?” 

“Hmm, how mad will you be if I say no?” 

I slam on the breaks and pull over. I knew it.

“What?”

“Well, I  _ told you  _ I was hungry. And you didn’t have any painkillers or orange juice. I did also tell you I was hungover.” 

“For  _ fuck’s sake,  _ Vanessa! Where the fuck are you?” 

She laughs. 

“Hang on, you’re not joking. Okay,  _ stalker.  _ Well, since you’ve asked so politely, I went to the shop around the corner. I thought I’d cook some breakfast for when you come back, as a thank you for looking after me last night.  _ Even though  _ I am hanging out of my arse.” 

“Okay. Stay in the store.” 

She huffs gently. 

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah. I’m comin’ to pick you up just, stay there.” 

“Yikes, someone’s not had a good day at work, you know it’s only like, a twenty minute walk, I can-!” 

I curse loudly, “okay, okay. Stay at the shop. I’ve got it. See you soon.”

She’s standing on the curb outside the shop when I pull up about five minutes later, cigarette hanging between her teeth, oversized sunglasses on her face. Her hair is pulled up on her head and she’s still wearing my shirt but with one of my belts around her waist. I see her wobbling as she hops over to the car and I know she’s got her heels on. She didn’t steal a pair of my shoes at least. 

“Hey sexy-!” “Vanessa I told you to wait inside, get in the car.” She does as she’s told, and puts her bag of groceries down by her feet, then buckles her seatbelt. “Why are you freaking out? Hey, relax, you’re holding the wheel too tight.” One of her hands covers mine, and she pulls it from the wheel. I let her. 

She holds it in her lap, staring out of the window. “Have I done something?”  _ Shit.  _ “Nah. Not as far as I’m thinkin’. Just… I’m supposed to not let y’get hurt, mkay, so from now on, if I ask you to stay put somewhere, do it. Okay? Please?” 

I feel her squeeze my hand, and look away from the road to see she’s looking at me. “Okay. I’m sorry.” I look back to the road. She didn’t speak again for the rest of the drive. 

“I hope you’re hungry!” She sets a plate in front of me. Two plates, actually. “Omelets and hash browns?” “I was really hungry.” She sits in front of me at a table I don’t think I’ve really used, and prods at her food. 

We eat. It’s good.  _ Damn  _ her cooking always makes me wish I knew how to do it myself. We all have our talents. 

She pulls her legs up to her chest and sips at her orange juice. “How’s the hangover? Cures workin’?” She snickers and rests her chin on her hand, “not great. And I hope the cures work. Because I am feeling  _ rough. _ ” She giggles and rests her face in her hands. 

I decide not to tell her about Nate. He should cool off by the time he’s back and I don’t see a point stressing her about it all. 

“Y’got plans for the week?” She stuffs her last hash brown in her mouth, and holds a hand in front of it for a moment. “Try to get you to fall in love with me.” “You’re doing a bang-up job of it so far.” She cackles and takes the plates over to the sink, and drops them in. “I’ll wash them up later,” “naw, I’ll do it. No arguin’, my house, my rules.” She walks back over and runs a hand along my shoulders, “back to bed?” “If y’want.” I hear a huff from behind me, “ _ no,  _ come with.” 

We already had this conversation last night. Thought she would’ve dropped this shit by now. “Vanessa I ain’t,” “come  _ on.  _ I don’t want to sit on my own, you have a telly in there, you can watch that and I’ll nap off my hangover.” This really is like babysitting. “Alright.” She grins warmly and kicks her heels off, heading off to the bedroom. I hear my belt hitting the floor. “Oh please keep your fuckin’ clothes on.” 

She has her clothes on, thank fuck, and her hair is back down. She smiles and holds out a hand, I take it and she pulls me onto the bed. “Mm, how was work?” I don’t stop her from pulling my head into her lap, she runs her fingers through my hair and it’s nice. Nate sure takes this for granted. “Was alright. Mason’s house smells of wet dog.” “Mason looks like  _ he  _ smells of wet dog.” 

The T.V. flickers on, and she puts the remote down on my chest. Background noise. She ain’t watching it. Neither am I. “He does.” “Do I want to know what the job was? Besides  _ delivery? _ ” I open my eye and look up at her, “it was actually a delivery,” she hums, “naw, really it was. Y‘might not like what the delivery  _ was. _ ” “Guns?” “Chems.” She winces, “ah. I forgot Nate was still… doing all that. Though I suppose at least it went to Mason and not, children and depressed housewives,” she laughs, it sounds forced, “what was it?” “Psycho.” 

She flinches, and looks down at me, “ _ angry juice?  _ Nathaniel was hooked on that stuff when he was sent back early from Anchorage. Made him  _ super  _ angry! Is Mason really the  _ best person  _ to be giving that to?” I shrug and close my eyes, she keeps running her fingers along my scalp, “ain’t my problem. If he starts a turf war that’s for Nate to deal with when he’s back.” She hums again, “when  _ is  _ he coming back?” 

Does she miss him? I suppose he rarely lets her out of his sight so it’s probably a shock for him to not constantly be over her shoulder. “Shit, I dunno, Nessie,” “I don’t think I want him to come back. Does that make me awful?” “I ain’t never been married.” Her hands stop, and I frown, looking up at her. “Can I stay with you until he gets back?” 

I sit up and look at her closely. She ain’t joking. “Shit, Vanessa, I don’t know. He probably won’t be much pleased with that,” “then you stay at ours. I mean, you don’t have to but I don’t want to be alone this week. I can cook some funky meals~ _!”  _

I gave in. Girl’s got me wrapped around her little finger. 


	6. Greed

“Gage...” 

She’s standing in the hallway. It’s dark. I’m on the living room couch. 

“Are you still awake?” 

I reckon she knows I am. She’s slurring her words so I know she’s been drinking. 

I sit up and look over the back of the couch at her. Her body is  _ barely _ covered by a thin shiny nightie. She takes a step further into the room and the moonlight through the window makes her look unreal. 

_ “Porter.”  _ She breathes out my name like a fucking prayer, smiling as she catches my eyes. “Come?” She nods her head in the direction of the bedroom, and her tongue sweeps along her bottom lip. 

I’d like to. Fucking hell you know I’d like to. She looks like the kind of girl I dreamt about when I was a kid, now she’s got me fawning over her like I’m a damn schoolboy again. I sigh and she comes closer and leans over the couch, one of her hands settling on my head. Her breath smells like vodka and nuka quantum. 

I’m suddenly aware I don’t have my eyepatch on when she runs her thumb along my eyebrow, tilting her head to the side, “beautiful…” I laugh coldly and her shoulders drop, “you’ve had too much to drink, Vanessa.” 

She climbs onto the couch next to me, and puts her hands on my face again. “Mmm, call me Nessie again. It sounds better.” Her eyes drop to my lips, then back up to mine and if I’m being honest I feel, I don’t know, vulnerable? Naked? This is bullshit man. I don’t like how out of control I feel. 

My eyepatch is sat on the coffee table. She notices me looking, and takes my hand, pretty much sitting on my lap. “No. I like it off.” She runs her thumb along my eyelid, I wince instinctively. “Does it hurt?” “Naw. Been a long time since it happened,” she raises a brow, “eh, some fuckin’ idiot with a knife.” She tuts and shakes her head, “still, you really don’t give yourself credit for how  _ gorgeous  _ you are, Porter.” I don’t laugh this time. 

She moves my hand to her face, and leans into my palm. She shivers as I graze her cheekbone with my thumb. “Why do you not want me, Porter?” “You’re  _ drunk,  _ Nessie.” “That doesn’t answer my question.” 

I answer it by taking her face in both hands, and kissing her. It do it gentle like, ‘cause I still ain’t sure she really wants it. She balls up the sheet she’d given me and I shiver as she pulls it off. Her hands find my bare chest and loop around my neck, and she pulls herself into my lap properly. I break the kiss and her eyelashes flutter. She looks at me, and smiles. 

“ _ Christ,  _ you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted that, Porter.” I shiver as she rolls her damn hips against mine, at the way she says my name as she does so. She hums, “so you  _ did _ want me?” “Do. But we shouldn’t, Nessie. You know that. You act slow but you ain’t.” Her face contorts, “why not? I might not be slow but I don’t understand.” That British accent drives me crazy. 

“You’re married. I’m… what did your friend call me? A gangbanger? You’re too good for me, nuka girl.” The way she gingerly touches her hand to my cheek makes my chest fucking  _ ache,  _ and I suppose I just ain’t trust her completely still. “I’m  _ married  _ to a gangbanger. Is  _ he  _ good enough for me? Who is? And you’re not taking into account what  _ I  _ want.” “And that is?” 

I should’ve known what she’d say next. The corners of her mouth twitched and she gave a small smile. One that actually met her eyes.

“You.” 

I watch as she gets up, she walks out the room, stopping in the hallway. She doesn’t turn to face me when she says, “I would like for you to join me, no, I  _ want  _ you to. But, I do not expect it, nor should you feel obligated to.” My chest feels like I’ve been shooting up psycho and buffout. “Oh, and I’ll leave you alone after this. If you stay out here, that’s it. No more sloppy flirting, like I said, I’ll leave you be.” 

I don’t know what to do. We’re both safer if I stay here. I don’t betray Nate and she doesn’t give him more reason to hurt her. On the other hand, I’ve always been a greedy man. 

From the way she sucks in a breath I don’t think she thought I was coming. “Gage.” She almost drops the glass (of what I know isn’t just quantum) on the floor as she turns to face me. She puts it on her chest of drawers and takes a step forward. “Vanessa I’m a sick, greedy man,” “so?” I grasp her chin with a thumb and a forefinger, “so, I always want more.” 

I kiss her. Harder, this time. And she almost immediately falls apart in my arms. Her hands fly out to grab onto the shirt I’m not wearing, and she ends up looping her arms around my neck. She’s warm, and soft and tastes like vodka and that metallic tang that comes with Nuka-Cola Quantum and cigarettes. 

And she is fucking addictive. 

  
  


As always, I wake up before her. Damn woman could sleep through a fucking nuclear bomb. I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, and then immediately roll my eyes at myself.  _ You’re better than this, Gage.  _

I consider bailing, but she gave me the option to do that last night. To do so now would be fucked up, even for me. It’s as if she read my mind though. She stirs awake and holds my forearm with one of her tiny hands, “mm, don’t you go anywhere…” 

I tense a little and one of her eyes open, “unless you’re going to get me a breakfast cocktail?” I frown and she rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, “what’s in a breakfast cocktail?” She chuckles sleepily, and I think I can guess, “orange juice, pineapple juice, a teaspoon of sugar and a generous shot of vodka.” I shake my head and slide back down in the bed with her, “you drink too much,” “you don’t drink enough.” “I’m serious, Nessie, you’ll drink yourself into an early grave.” She barks out a laugh, “I could be so lucky.” 

I run my thumb along her cheekbone and frown, she sighs, “don’t worry, Porter. I’ll chill out a little. No promises though, I’m quite insufferable to be around when I’m sober.” “You’re insufferable all the time.” Why does she have to use fucking long words? Her phone buzzes next to my head, I grab it out from under the pillow and hand it to her. She sits up and frowns at the screen, using one hand to hold the bedsheets to her chest, as if I didn’t get to see it all last night. 

“ _ Shit _ . Gage could you drive me to Medford hospital, please?” I frown and blink at her, “oh, it’s fine if you can’t, I’ll just call Deacon and-,” “I’ll drive. Why do you need to go to the hospital? Y’alright?” I sit up with her, and press a kiss to the back of her shoulder. She tosses her phone to the side and loops her arms around my neck, I bury my face in the side of hers. She lets out a giggle that makes me shiver. “Mm, yes, I’m fine. I forgot Nuka Girl was meant to be seeing some kids today.” Hell, if she’s putting that outfit on I’m going. “When?” “Few hours, so we don’t have to move  _ just  _ yet.” I smile against her neck and she runs her fingers through my hair, “you’re all scratchy,” “want me to shave?” “oh gosh no. I like it,” I hear the smile in her voice, “I  _ especially  _ liked it last night.” I pull her back down into the bed and she laughs, pulling away to look at me, “you really are beautiful, Gage.” “I thought I already told you y’drink too much.”

  
  


I’ve decided thigh high boots should be illegal, especially on her. She zips them up as I start the car and smiles at me, grabbing her helmet off the backseat. I sent a text to Nate whilst I wait for her to buckle in,

_ -heard from vanessa 2day wants me to take her 2 hospital for some kid charity work shit _

He replies straight away. 

_ -Did you pick her up from Sanctuary?  _

_ -yes _

_ -Okay. Back in a few days.  _

“Do I have competition?” I rest a hand above her knee and squeeze, driving with one hand, “competition?” “The other woman.” I suck in a breath, “no, that was me texting your husband.” That word tastes like the cheap vodka she keeps in the bathroom cabinet. “Oh.  _ Him.  _ What…” She chews her lip, “what are we gonna do about him?” 

What the fuck does that mean? Have I now got to deal with both of them trying to  _ teach  _ the other  _ a lesson?  _

“Vanessa just, chill, okay? Lemme work this shit out, you focus on doing whatever it is you do.” “Sit around looking pretty?” I shrug, and put the radio on, “sure, just don’t do anything stupid.” 

She says she won’t. But she already has. 

She does have a point though, what  _ are  _ we gonna do? Is this gonna become a thing? Or does it all stop once Nate is back? One of her hands lands on mine, and she holds it, staring out the window to her side. 

*

It was Charles’ idea for me to start working with children, he said it would help me get out all that maternal energy. It was that or getting a dog, and Nate said no to the dog.  _ Gosh, _ I want a dog. So, anyway, uh, Mila put me in touch with her agent (since she used to sing to children back when she was nice) and he put me in touch with Medford. I’ve been visiting the children there since. 

I think it helps now, but most of that  _ maternal energy  _ is gone, but it still makes me feel like shit. I’m constantly reminded of my mistake with Shaun, and it hurts.  _ Mistake.  _ Can I even call it that? It’s my fault that my baby is gone. Because I was drunk and unconscious and-.

“Awe you a piwate?” I glance over my shoulder, Gage is leaning against the door and one of the children has run up to him to ask him a question. A nurse tries to move the child away, and he glances at my face before looking back down at the child. “Eyup.” The little boy squeals and runs behind me, I smile down at him, I’ve been seeing him personally for a while, I’m good friends with his father. 

“Oh don’t you worry Duncan, he’s a  _ good  _ pirate! A  _ space  _ pirate!” I gently muss his soft brown hair and he grins up at me with a gap-toothed smile. “Yeah, I’mma uh, Nuka-Girl’s bodyguard. She led me away from a life of crime.” Duncan squints at Gage, and let’s go of my leg, shyly inching towards him. And as Gage crouches down and holds out a hand towards him my heart  _ aches.  _ “My daddy says you do bad things and bad things happen, what goes awound comes awound,” “well, Duncan, you know I think your father is very smart but Mr Gage is doing good by protecting me.” He meets my eyes and I smile, before turning back to the other children. 

  
  


I sigh, tossing my helmet onto the backseat of the car before climbing in. Gage gets in besides me. “Duncan?” I look over, chewing my lip, “he’s always been a little sickly, but he got very ill a while ago. I um, I personally covered his hospital fees.” My face heats up, it's somewhat embarrassing. I haven’t told anyone, not even Nate, but it was my way of making up for…  _ Shaun.  _

“Jeez, Vanessa, that’s… You’re some kinda fuckin’ saint ain’t you?” I try my best to not immediately sink my teeth back into my bottom lip and stare out of the window. “Gage. What goes around, comes around.”


	7. Whiskey and Kisses

With Nate still not home and my heart aching for my cowboy, it only takes me a glass of wine and I’m calling him, curling a finger around the cord of the house phone. 

It only rings once before he answers. “Someone’s eager.” 

“ _You_ called me.” 

I laugh, he isn’t wrong. He asks me why and that’s a question I didn’t really think about. Why am I calling him? He says my name and I’m back to reality. 

“Gage. No, I don’t exactly know why, I… Come over.” 

“Vanessa are we really doin’ this again?” 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Why should I come over?” 

I hum and push my fingers through my hair still holding the phone to my ear. “Because I asked you to?”

“You didn’t ask, y’tried to tell me to.” 

I hum again frowning lightly and sigh, _“Gage,_ won’t you come over? _Please?”_ I swear I hear him chuckle. 

“Better. Gimme twenty minutes.” 

He hangs up immediately, and I find myself unsure of what to do with myself. No, I don’t know why I invited him round, we established a few days ago that we couldn’t do this again. No matter how bad Nate could be, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair on him, for obvious reasons, it wasn’t fair on Gage because he’s risking his job, his life, and you know, I’m _married._ It’s not fair on me because I want something _I_ can’t have. 

But here I am, having just invited him round, but in my defence he could’ve said no. I pour myself another glass of wine and draw the living room curtains before sitting down on the couch. I find myself chewing at my nails, a terrible habit but one I’ve picked back up recently, and I realise I’ve _missed_ him. I have missed the gangbanger with the mohawk and metal eyepatch. Oh how far you have fallen, Vanessa. 

  
  


There’s a single knock at the door and I almost jump out of my skin, I down the rest of my wine and walk over to the door. I sucked in a breath, one hand holding the handle. I _could_ just not open it. I’d be a complete wanker for doing so but-. He knocks again and I open the door, looking up at him quietly. Neither of us say anything. 

His pupils are blown out and he smells stronger of whiskey than he does of cigarettes. He’s been drinking. A lot too for it to mask the smell of smoke. I pray he hasn’t been driving and notice a taxi pull out of Sanctuary, thank _God._

“Y’gonna lemme in, Nessie?” He drawls. I forget how much thicker the accent is when he’s been drinking. It’s hot. 

He doesn’t wait for me to respond and steps inside, Ms Rosa’s curtains flutter opposite us. _Nosy cow._ He shuts the door behind himself and we are suddenly standing closer than I think I could handle. Almost getting drunk from the smell of booze on him. “What am I doin’ here?” He sounds more like he’s asking himself, and I place my hands flat on his chest, before gently tugging at the grey t-shirt he’s wearing. 

He hums and rests a hand on my cheek before sliding it up into my hair, his thumb caresses my eyebrow, and the slit through it, “I’m,” (he says it like _ahm!_ ), “glad y’don’t try to cover it. Fill it in or surgery or summat.” I laugh gently and turn my face away, he turns it back, a look in his eyes that makes me shiver. “Well, I’ve been intending to,” “don’t. Makes y’look freakin’ badass.” 

After a few minutes of silence, he lets out a sigh, removes his hand from my face and presses it to his own. “What _am_ I doing here?” He repeats. “I,” the words end there, he cuts me off, it seems he’s not finished. “Like, I thought we agreed we weren’t doin’ this again, Nessie?” _So did I._ I shifted my weight from one foot onto the other, fiddling with the hem of the oversized shirt I’m wearing. 

_The oversized shirt I’m wearing that I think belongs to my husband._

“Why did you come then?” He frowns, opens and closes his mouth like a fish, and the silence hangs above us like a dead weight. “Look, I… I _needed_ you, one last time, okay? Nate will be home soon,” _neither of us realised quite how soon,_ “and then, I guess it can all stop. If that’s what you want. But tonight,” I take a step closer, balling up his shirt in my hands, “let me have you. Please?” 

“Fuck it.” 

*

Vanessa’s back hits her bedroom wall with a thud, and her hands fly to Gage’s zipper as he yanks his shirt off, her own long since abandoned on the bedroom floor. He groans as his already hard cock springs from his jeans as she murmurs in delight, wrapping a hand around it. Her movements are sloppy, drunk on lust and love and well… alcohol. 

She slides down the wall onto her knees, and his hands immediately grab her hair before she even touches him, pulling the long blonde curls back from her face. Gage silently hoped he was sober enough to remember this. Their first (and last) time had been great and all but it had been somewhat nervous, gentle. And getting off to the same memory would surely eventually get boring. 

He takes that back. Thoughts of her would never get boring. 

But he’s greedy, she should know that by now.

His grip on her hair only tightens as she plants soft, wet kisses to his thighs, she doesn’t seem to mind as he tugs. His jeans hit the floor. He swears he hears her call him _beautiful_ again but his brain and the rest of his body aren’t exactly cooperating too well right now. 

It suddenly strikes Gage that he is so used to seeing her wear lipstick that he didn’t even notice, if that makes sense, until it was smudged across her face, his thighs and now- “oh _shit, Nessie…_ ” -his cock. 

She ran the flat of her tongue along it, and purred appreciatively as his fingers ran along the side of her scalp. Vanessa’s brain was, as usual, not the one in charge (metaphorically, of course), in fact she would say her heart had driven her into this situation and now it was instinct that had taken over. Her body acting solely on desperate lust, and maybe a little something else lurking beneath the surface. It was her heart that called him to her after all. 

With her nose pressed right against his crotch, Gage groaned lightly, uttering quiet praises. These praises were rewarded with her humming happily around his cock, and Gage’s second hand joined the first on her head. He pulled her back and she released him with a pop, a thread of saliva connecting her smudged, red lips to the head of his cock (also covered in smudged red lipstick). 

“Fuckin’ stunnin’.” He bent over and picked her up, fingers gripping her thighs tight enough that in the back of her mind she was acutely aware of the risk of bruising. Gage dropped her onto the bed rather unceremoniously. She bounced a few times, holding her breasts and his hands gripped her thighs again, pulling her down the bed. 

Her laugh was musical, and breathy, and made his stomach turn more than the alcohol as he planted a firm kiss between her breasts, palming them roughly. Rougher than he meant but being gentle wasn’t exactly his forte. Her legs wrap around his waist and he staggers as she pulls him. “Helluva woman you are.” Vanessa quite literally swoons and her heart lurches and she realises; _oh shit,_ she gets the sudden urge to chew her nails, _I care about the gangbanger._

He slides his cock against her a few times, watching as she presses her fingers to her face. The woman is embarrassed at the pitiful whine that comes out of her, as she tugs him closer by the waist. Legs still clamped around him. “Someone’s _eager.”_ He mimics what she said to him earlier, but this time it has a whole other meaning. 

Vanessa whimpers and turns her face to the side, “ _please…”_ She screams at herself inside her head, she’s never been one to beg before. Not in this context anyway. Gage grips her chin between his fingers and turns her face back, his other hand sliding down to hold her waist. “Needy,” he tuts, and Vanessa almost screams as she feels herself _blush,_ “please what?” 

“Ah… _hah,_ Gage, don’t make me do this.” He laughs and goosebumps prickle up across her skin. “I don’t know what y’askin’, Nessie.” She swore at that, and rolled her eyes. A whine escaped her lips as he planted kisses on her chest, biting the soft flesh once or twice. Not enough to mark. 

That was when she gave in, fingers curling in the bedsheets. “ _Fuck,_ okay, okay, Gage? Seriously, ah! You need to fuck me before I hit you with the lamp.” He hummed, wrapping a hand around his cock, “that’ll do.” 

The minute he buried himself in her, her back arched against the bed and she dragged the sheets down around her shoulders, her arms flat above her head, palms facing the ceiling. “Holy _shit,_ Nessie… _Fuck,_ you’re so good.” He rested a hand in hers, and their fingers entwined. It was a simple action, but so more intimate than what they’d done before. His one-eyed gaze made Vanessa _burn,_ or maybe it was the extreme blushing. Either way, she silently hoped he’d look away. Just do what Nate does and fuck her as though she’s not even there. 

She thinks she might cry. 

“Fuckin’ stunnin’,” he repeats, and rolls his hips once and she moans weakly, her nails digging into the back of his hand. “Look at you. Damn near _perfect._ ” His name tumbles from her lips and her tongue slips out across them. “So damn soft. You’re huggin’ me so good, _Nessie_.” 

Her heart flutters. She’s not used to being _spoken to._ Especially not in this way. She’s all giddy and floaty. Gage doesn’t know why he’s running his mouth like this, it’s not like he doesn’t mean every word, he’s just making himself feel all soft. Soft over a woman he can’t have. 

A woman he _is_ having. 

_So fuck it_ , he tells himself, _if I wanna tell her she’s prettier than a cactus flower and sex with her makes me want to be a better man, I will._

He quickly found his footing and established a pace that had Vanessa’s brain turn to mush, hips slapping loudly against hers. With a lack of cognitive thought, most of what came out of her mouth consisted of curses, “oh God, yes”, and his name. 

Her thighs tensed and began to tremble, and judging from the way Gage groaned, her thighs weren’t the only thing to tense. “ _Shit,_ you’re so fuckin’ _good,_ Nessie. _Fuck,_ you trust me?” Her eyes moved from his, to their entwined hands, back to him again. “With my life.” “Perfect.” 

The hand that was gripping her waist moved up her chest, his breath was ragged with anticipation. He pinched one of her nipples on the way before his hand settled around her neck, “you ‘kay?” “Mhm!” He flexed his fingers lightly, watched as her chest rose with a deep breath, and squeezed. “Oh yeah, look a’ tha’.” He applied more pressure and her eyes rolled back, her tongue flopping out of her mouth, “ _Christ,_ you’re gonna kill me.” Vanessa responded only with a strangled moan, arching her back. 

Her climax hit and it was what pushed Gage over the edge too, as she tightened around him and whined. “Yes, yes! _Yesyesyesyes!”_ One of her hands flew to his wrist, gripping it tightly. As he came he lost control of himself, his thrusts irregular and shaky and his hand squeezing her throat far tighter than he meant to. She moaned desperately, locking her legs around his waist to hold him against her. He released her throat and his hand slid up her back to press her closer to him, his other one still in hers. 

*

“Shit… Nessie you’ve ruined me for the other woman.” I laughed weakly, pushing myself further up the bed, pulling a pillow up behind my back, Gage followed, burying his face in the crook of my neck. “Didn’t hurt y’too bad did I?” I shake my head, catching my breath. I think he might have ruined me for the _other man._ I’ve never felt so… _loved?_ I’m not implying he loves me, far from it, but the fact he looks me in the eye, the fact he’s still here, the fact he kissed me and held me and… Well that whole thing that just happened. 

“I wouldn’t complain, anyway.” I finally manage to get out, and he laughs, deep and breathy against my bare neck, propping himself up on his elbows. He placed a hand on my face, then dragged a finger down to my neck. I shiver, and he smirks, lifting my chin up. “Jus’ checkin’ you ain’t too marked up. As much as I’d like to, don’t think _he’d_ much appreciate it.” Neither do I. 

One of his arms snake around my waist and pull me close, nuzzling into my hair. His eyepatch scratches my face and I feel him sigh. “Nessie… I-,” I lurch up suddenly, moving my way over to the window, peeking through the curtains, “you alright?” “Go.” I grab his shirt from the floor and press it into his chest, “ _go!_ ” “Nessie what the fuck is going on?” 

“He’s back.” 

Gage hops out of the bed quickly, pulling his jeans back up and jamming his feet into his shoes. I pull my t-shirt on and attack my face with a wet wipe, clearing up the smudged lipstick and the black lines down my cheeks. I hear the car stop in the drive and swiftly push Gage out the bedroom, into Shaun’s room. “Go out the window.” He opens his mouth to say something, but simply presses a kiss to my forehead, “stay safe, Nessie.” 

I push the door to, like it normally is, and move into the kitchen, tying my hair up with the band I keep around my wrist so I look somewhat composed. And the front door opens. 

“Ooh! Nathaniel! You’re home!” He drops his bags and holds out his arms, kicking the front door closed behind him. And I’m terrified. I don’t know what he’s going to do. But I do as I’m told, smiling brightly and scampering over, throwing myself into his arms. 

Acting is what I do. 

“Oh yeah, there’s my girl. Have you missed me?” He walks with me, backing me up against the counter. It digs in and I just hope he can’t tell how red my throat is in the dark. Or how much my fucking legs are trembling. 

“Of course I have. You’ve been gone for much more than a week.” His hands slide from my waist down to my thighs, I try desperately to keep them still. He picks me up by them and puts me down on the counter. “I’ve been lonely.” I pout. 

Nate squeezes my neck (it hurts but at least he won’t suspect), and the inside of my thigh at the same time. “Ooh, what’s this? Is my little wife feeling a little hot and bothered?” _Oh God._ “I _did_ say I missed you.” He smirks. Vanessa you’ve still got it. “Come on then little bird, I’ll give you what you need.” 

_Just tune it out Nessie. Shut that shit out._

It’s Gage’s voice that says it. 


	8. Chems

I knew I had it bad when I couldn’t get the damn girl out of my head. We ain’t spoken since that night. Well, said hey to her in passing and shit. It ain’t that I don’t want to, but I don’t exactly get the chance. She always tries to talk, I see it on her face, the way she fidgets and chews her lip. 

I don’t think the boss is any the wiser, think he might’ve killed me by now, or her. I notice bruises on her sometimes, nothing like the last one, but they’re there alright. Been really winding myself up cause I’m damn worried about her, embarrassing myself cause I wanna see her again. But the day I  _ did  _ see her again, wasn’t what I was hoping for. 

Boss has been a little out of it since we got back, even Mason’s starting to get pissed, and he’s the boss’ biggest fan. He’s slowed down on the chem trade, hasn’t even gotten more stomping grounds worked out so there’s been a bunch of squabbling and infighting I’ve had to deal with. 

It’s been a lot of work, like a shit ton, so I was taking myself some time off. Was hoping for a nice relaxed weekend, but did I get that?  _ Fuck  _ no. ‘Cause I’m living in a fucking nightmare. 

And I wanna get out of this nightmare for at least three fucking minutes, so even though I ain’t an idiot who gets fucked up on all the booze and all the chems I can get my hands on, I’m gonna have a drink. 

I’m three beers in when I hear mumbling and a thud on the hallway outside the door. Then a knock. Three knocks. 

I almost don’t answer, then whoever it is knocks again. 

And again.

And again, “alright, I’m comin’, I’m comin’. Fuckin’ hell.” 

“Porter Gage. Pleasure to see you. What are you doing here?” 

Standing in front of me is of course the cause of my damn nightmare. Vanessa smiles wonkily at me, both her and her fur coat soaked through, blood streaming from her nose. All I can smell is vodka. “Fuckin’ Christ... This is  _ my _ home, what’re  _ you _ doin’ here? Get inside.” She whines as I take her hand and pull her into the room, slamming the door behind her. “I came to see  _ you,  _ obviously. Silly boy.” 

I pick her up by her hips and drop her onto the counter, her dress rides up further than is ladylike, and she laughs at me. “Why are y’out durin’ a storm?” I should probably ask her why she’s bleeding, but I'm sure I can work that one out myself. A better question is why  _ vodka  _ has her pupils blown out that much. “I wanted to see you! You know how hard it is to drive?” “Vanessa, you were driving drunk?” She blinks at me as I take a washcloth to her face, mostly the blood from her nose. 

“Obviously  _ not.  _ Not all the way anyway, I stopped like, a while ago,” “where is the boss? He’s gonna tan both our hides if he finds y’here.” She shrugs and tenses, pressing a hand to her forehead, “you better not be sick,” she stays quiet, “for fuck sake, Vanessa. You’re making my life fuckin’ hell.” She whimpers as I pluck her off the counter and carry her into the bathroom. 

She’s crying by the time I sit her down on the bathroom floor. I pull her hair out of her face, and she continues to sniffle, “I-I… I don’t mean to… To…” She pukes, and then starts to whine even more. I rub her back. “There y’go, get it up, tha’s it.” 

“Nessie… What have y’taken?” She blinks, gives me a forced smile and shakes her head. I really ain’t in the mood for her bullshit. “Don’t give me that. I know you have, I need you to barf it up.” She carries on telling me she ain’t taken shit, so I grab the bottom of her face and press the pad of my thumb flat against her tongue, “If I need to shove my fingers down your damn throat I’ll do it.” 

“Mmph… Kinky.” I took out my thumb and put two fingers in, she shuddered and grabbed my wrist, shaking her head.  _ Stubborn bitch _ . “Vanessa. The fuck did you take!?” “Nuffin’, ah smear! Not smawwoed!” Yeah, I understood about as much of that as I would’ve if she were speaking another damn language. She pulled my hand from her mouth, and scrunched up her nose in disgust, as if she had her hands in  _ my  _ mouth with vomit. “I haven’t swallowed anything. It… Oh God,” her head goes back over the toilet, “it was a  _ syringe _ !” 

Well that does fuck all to ease my worries. 

“What was it?” She scrunches her nose again. “Vanessa what the  _ fuck  _ did you take!” One of her hands waved wildly at the kitchen, “I don’t… My bag... My bag.  _ Please… _ ” She’d left it at the front door when she came in, I went and got it, dropping it on the floor next to her. 

She dove into her bag, pulling out all sorts of trash. Receipts, her phone, tissues, Nate’s car keys, makeup (I think), four plastic straws, a Nuka Cola souvenir cup with straw that stinks of vodka, and a shot glass. I’m impressed at how much shit this girl can get into her bag, she’d be a good little shoplifter. She pressed a syringe into my hand, thin and long, and dripping some kinda purplish liquid. 

_ Calmex  _ was printed in small black letters on the label. I knew this chem. We moved it in bulk. It’s a kind of tranquilliser, more like a fucking date rape drug if you ask me, especially if it’s the type we have. It would explain the limp limbs and the slurring of her words. 

“Where’d y’get this?” She wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand, “can I brush my teeth?” “ _ Vanessa, _ ” “I mean you  _ must  _ have a toothbrush, even if you don’t seem to use it very much.” I ignored that, and she giggled a little, holding onto my thigh with a shaking hand. “Did he give you this?” “I mean,  _ give, inject without asking,  _ it’s all much the same thing.”    
  


“I mean I  _ did  _ take a couple Day Trippers too, but we all love a good sesh.”  _ Sesh?  _ British slang. “Right, how many is  _ a couple _ ?” “Iunno.” “For fucks sake. Open up.” I pushed her head over the toilet and stuck my fingers down her throat. No luck. “How long ago did you take it?” She shuddered and managed to choke out that she took them in the car. So they’d be kicking in soon. “Okay, you’re definitely getting it all up.” 

*

She was wearing one of my jumpers, in my arms, shivering and sobbing. Kept telling me she was sorry. Making me kinda uncomfortable. “Call me a cab home.” “No fuckin’ way. Look at ya. Ain’t happenin’.” She rubbed her face, black makeup lines smeared wildly across her cheeks. 

“I’m really sorry, Porter.” 

“‘S’Alrigh’.” 

“Nathaniel is going to be furious isn’t he?” 

“Ayep, I reckon so. But it’s not like you ain’t got a habit of pissin’ him off.” 

Vanessa groaned loudly and pressed her hands to her face, “you gon’ puke again, Nessie?” “No. I just… Fucking  _ Christ  _ he’s going to kill me.” I shake my head, and grab her cup off the table. It’s been washed out but it still smells faintly of alcohol. She pops the straw into the corner of her mouth and sips at it. “I’ll deal with it in the mornin’. Don’t you worry about it.” 

She pushes the straw out of her mouth with her tongue, “what if he finds out?” “He won’t. Just stop. Let’s get you into bed.” She swings her legs off the couch, wobbling a little and tries to walk towards the bedroom. I wrap an arm around her waist. 

A grin crosses her face as she looks up at me, putting her cup down on the chest of drawers. “You tidied up this time, did you know I was coming, darling?” “I’m now always prepared for you t’show up at my fuckin’ door,” “ooh, so you miss having me around?” I don’t answer, she takes my hand and pulls me towards the bed. “Can I have a kiss now? I  _ have  _ brushed my teeth.” I roll my eyes and watch as she hops up onto the bed, wrapping her legs around my hips, “you’re a fuckin’ minx, you know that?  _ C’mere _ .” 

*

I wake up to the sound of a phone ringing. Vanessa is sleeping soundly. I ain’t surprised. She’s probably hungover as shit. Her arms are wrapped around one of mine, her bare chest pressed against my side. “Nessie?” She groans as I shake her, “c’mon, wake up. Y’phone is ringin’.” That woke her up, she sat up, probably quicker than she meant, and whined, pressing a hand to her head. 

“Can you get my phone, please love? I left it in the living room.” I nod, and get it for her. I look at the screen on the way past.  _ Shit.  _

“Oh I’m so bloody fucked. Thirty-three missed calls? Fucking  _ Christ. _ ” I think my frequent cursing is rubbing off on her. “Alright, alright, get dressed, I’ll sort this, I got an idea.” She climbed out of the bed, chewing her lip wildly and pulled the same, still damp, and somewhat bloody clothes back on, wrapping her jacket around her shoulders. 

“C’mon.” I pushed her out the front door and down the stairs, pulling her into one of the side rooms in the  _ office,  _ “down.” I pointed at the couch, she smiled weakly, “ _ Porter _ , if you’re going to ravage me, now is not the time.” I shot her a look, and she laid down, raising an eyebrow at me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and called her husband. 

“Hey Boss.” 

“Gage.”

Vanessa sucked in a breath and flinched, glaring up at me, her mouth open slightly. 

“Uh, I just found your fuckin’ wife asleep on the couch in the office. I went down there cause I was in the mood for a lil’ trip, and yeah, found this crazy bitch asleep on the couch.” 

She knows I don’t do chems, so she’ll know it’s an act. I hope anyway, she’s smarter than she lets on. 

“ _ Shitting hell.  _ Alright, cheers Gage, I’ll be down in… Oh she took the  _ fucking _ car. Bring her down for me, yeah? She’ll have the car keys on her, if she don’t she’ll be in for a fucking surprise later.”

_ These two are gonna be the honest to God death of me.  _

“Yeah, I’ll bring her down.” 

He hung up. 

“He’s mad isn’t he?” 

She has one of her fingers in the side of her mouth, chewing on it. 

“Well, you knew he would be, so I ain’t sure what you’re expectin’ me to say.  _ Look _ , I gotta take you back. The longer y’leave it, the worse he’s gonna be. You know that.” 

She stands up, slips a hand into mine and squeezes it. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Me too.” 


End file.
